Story Time
by RunicSiren
Summary: When Unohana suggest a story Yoruichi has the perfect idea, much to Kyouraku, Ukitake, and Yamamoto's horror, and the enjoyment of everyone else. Kyouraku/FemUkitake
1. Chapter 1

Here's the story featuring Urahara and Yoruichi I promised. It was originally going to be a oneshot, but I decided that there needed to be two other chapters, one for Ukitake and one for Yoruichi. This is the first Academy story I've done so hopefully everyone enjoys it!

Also, for anyone who is interested, I've decided that The Perfect Plan will be a twoshot now, instead of just a oneshot.

Disclaimer: ARGH! No! It's not mine!

Summary: When Unohana suggest a story Yoruichi has the perfect idea, much to Kyouraku, Ukitake, and Yamamoto's horror, and the enjoyment of everyone else.

Warnings: FemUkitake, a lot of drunken soul reapers, and an implied lemon

Story Time

Chapter 1: Urahara and Kyouraku's Chapter

Byakuya glared at Kyouraku as laughter filled the room. Ichigo pounded a fist on the table, his other hand clutching his side. "That's too good," he managed to gasp out.

The Sixth Division Captain turned his dark gaze to the substitute soul reaper, flickering over to Renji who was choking on his drink, and Rukia who was trying to hide her giggles behind her hand. They were celebrating the end of the war, and somehow Kyouraku had ended up telling stories about everyone who had sat down at their table, the last being about Ukitake's former student.

"Don't give that look!" Kenpachi shouted, his words slurred. He lifted his cup of sake, spilling most of it on Ikkaku and Yachiru who sat on either side of him, Ikkaku falling onto Yumichika in a vain attempt to avoid the liquid. "We all had a turn, so suck it up!"

"Actually," Nanao said, pushing up her glasses, "we haven't heard any stories about Captain Kyouraku yet."

A silence fell over the room as all eyes turned to the Eight Division Captain who lounged between the Captain-Commander and Ukitake. "True," Hitsugaya said perfectly, his flushed cheeks the only indication he was drunk. Next to him Hinamori started to nod before a hiccup interrupted her.

"Does anyone even have a story about Captain Kyouraku?" Kira asked, practically leaning on Hisagi who kept blinking. This time everyone turned to Ukitake, who like Unohana and Isane across from her, was drinking tea and still perfectly sober.

Komamura snorted as Rangiku refilled his cup. "I doubt we'll get a story out of Ukitake."

"No, not unless you get a few drinks in her," Yoruichi said slyly, eyeing the white haired woman she sat next to. Soifon leaned forward to peer pass Yoruichi, her cheeks red and eyes wide. "I, on the other hand, am perfectly willing to do so. Now, what story should I tell?" she asked, tapping her chin.

"The stalkers." Everyone turned to Unohana who was taking a sip of tea.

Ichigo would later tell people that Yoruichi's smile had been truly terrifying. "Which one: mine, Kisuke's, Kyouraku's?"

"Shun had fangirls, not stalkers," Ukitake muttered, a shiver running through the room.

"Ukitake's," Unohana clarified. Immediately Yoruichi started laughing, Kyouraku and Ukitake groaned, Chōjirō sighed as he finished off his ale, and Yamamoto glared at the usually laid back captain.

"Not that one," Ukitake whimpered.

"Okay," Ichigo said, accidentally spilling his cup onto Renji's lap, who looked at it and shrugged, "we definitely have to hear this one now."

"Well," Yoruichi started, still chuckling as she spoke, "the whole mess started when Shunsui convinced Yamamoto to let the Academy students host a play. He also convinced Jūshirō to play the "princess." He gave her this cute little dress to wear that caused many of the male students to take notice of her, although how he convinced them she was still a man, I have no idea. Anyways, the whole story starts at the end of the play, which was actually just a ploy to steal our beloved Jūshirō's first kiss."

/

Ukitake couldn't believe she was doing this. The play called for her to choose between her two suitors, played by Urahara and Kyouraku, choosing her true love, Kyouraku, over the man who loved her but she only cared for, Urahara. She took a step toward Kyouraku, but as she did a man in the audience stood up. "Ukitake! I love you! You should choose me!"

"No!" shouted another student who stood up. "Ukitake, you should be with me!"

And that's all it took for a full blown fight to break out, men screaming that they were the only one who truly loved the white haired girl. "Shunsui, what should we do?" Ukitake whispered.

"I know," Urahara whispered, stepping forward, gripping Ukitake's chin. "Just play along," he said, before kissing her. Silence fell over the crowd as people realized what was happening.

"Kisuke Urahara!" Kyouraku shouted.

"Hold on," Urahara said, grinning as he broke the kiss. "I'm a little busy at the moment." With that, he leaned down, this time kissing Ukitake with much more passion.

As all hell broke loose, Kyouraku pulled Ukitake away from Urahara, and out of the auditorium. Urahara tried to follow but found his way blocked by an angry Yamamoto.

/

Ukitake couldn't believe what was happening. An hour ago she'd never been kissed before in her life, and now she'd been kissed by the two most desired men at the Academy. She was actually making out with her best friend, Shunsui Kyouraku. "Wait, wait," she said, pushing Kyouraku away for a moment. "Shunsui, why are you doing this?"

Kyouraku blinked. "Isn't it obvious, Ukitake? I want you."

"Yes, but why?"

Kyouraku chuckled, kissing Ukitake's nose before resting his forehead against her own. "Because, I love you."

They were so close Ukitake could feel his lips move. "And how many girls have you said that to before?"

"None."

Kyouraku held still, waiting. After a moment Ukitake moved forward, placing her lips against Kyouraku's. "I love you too, Shunsui."

/

"Shunsui!"

"Ukitake!"

Yamamoto couldn't believe what he was seeing. He would kill Kyouraku for touching Ukitake. He quickly pulled Kyouraku off Ukitake before either of his students realized he was there. "Sensei!" Ukitake shouted, trying to redo the ties on her dress, but Yamamoto ignored her, his attention completely on Kyouraku. "Sensei, please don't hurt him!"

"You put on this stupid play, draw everyone's attention to Jūshirō, and deflower her during the confusion you caused. I will not allow this to go unpunished."

/

"Well, we got off easy considering," Urahara said, leaning against his broom. He grinned, letting out a small 'ow' as the split on his lip opened again.

Kyouraku shook his head. "Yes, cleaning duty until graduation, no matter how tedious, does seem more appealing than death."

Urahara snorted. "I'm surprised Yamamoto didn't kill you. I just kissed Jūshirō, you slept with her." The other boy glared at his friend, but remained silent. Urahara laughed. "You shouldn't glare at people until that eye heals. It makes you look like you're surprised."

"That doesn't look like cleaning," they heard from across the courtyard. Yamamoto sat on the other side of the gardens, talking to Ukitake.

Both boys moved their brooms back and forth, although it made little difference as they weren't really getting anything clean. "So," Urahara said, breaking the silence they had fallen into, "How did you get her into bed so quickly anyways?"

"Why did you kiss her?" Kyouraku snapped back.

"Answer my question, I'll answer yours."

"Fine," Kyouraku sighed after a moment. "I told her I love her."

"And?"

"And what? Answer my question before asking me another."

"All right, fair enough. I kissed her because I wanted to ruin your elaborate little plan to kiss her first."

"I hate you."

"No you don't. Now, do you love her?"

"Yes."

"Did Yamamoto believe you?"

Kyouraku snorted. "We had a five hour "discussion" about it. I still don't think he believes me. Probably trying to convince Jūshirō she should never speak to me again."

"They've been talking for a while now, probably moved passed all that. Jūshirō loves you, or else Yamamoto really would have killed you."

"I don't care if he believes me, only that Jūshirō does."

"Which I do."

The two turned around to see Ukitake and Yamamoto standing behind them. "Maybe," Urahara whispered loudly as he leaned closer to Kyouraku, "you have some special power to summon Yamamoto."

"Goodie."

/

"That dress was an awful idea," Urahara hissed through his teeth as the last student fell.

"I'm beginning to think the same," Kyouraku said, shaking out his hand. "I think that last one had iron in his head."

"What's going on?" Ukitake asked as she and Yoruichi exited the restaurant.

Urahara shook his head as he looked at Ukitake. "I still can't believe you cut off your hair. It's like looking at a different person."

"I already told you I wanted everyone to keep thinking I was a boy. Now, why are there ten unconscious people in the street?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Yoruichi asked, smirking at the two boys. "They were getting rid of your stalkers."

"Again? I thought they all gave up by now."

"Aw, Jūshirō, why would anyone give up on you? You're just too cute!" the black haired girl said, hugging Ukitake tightly, the white haired girl letting out an 'epp.'

"Usually I hate doing anything, but something has got to be done about this," Kyouraku said. "How many is that now?"

"Well, with these ten, that makes fifty-three this month alone."

"What do you plan to do?" Ukitake asked, walking over to Kyouraku.

Kyouraku looked over to Urahara. "Don't look at me. This is your fault."

"Then there's only one thing we can do," he sighed.

/

"The very next day Yamamoto issued a rule stating that if anyone was caught stalking Jūshirō they would be expelled from the Academy and never allowed to join the Gotei 13. Of course, there were the few that thought our beloved captain was worth it, but Yamamoto quickly got rid of them. And there ends Shunsui's story. Got Kisuke out of the way while we were at it too."

"So that's where the stalking rule came from," Rukia muttered.

"That was always one that confused me," Hinamori hiccupped.

"I want to hear a story about Ukki!" Yachiru shouted.

Kenpachi snorted. "Ukitake's too goody goody to have a good story."

"Actually, I do have one on her as well," Yoruichi said, smirking. "And it's all thanks to a little thing called tequila."

"You wouldn't!" Ukitake whispered, horrified. She set her drink down, staring at her old friend with wide eyes.

"Oh, but I would."

"Let her, Juu. I haven't even heard this story," Kyouraku said with a grin.

"Nor have I," Unohana muttered. Yamamoto raised an eyebrow, a clear indication that he did not know the story either.

Ukitake groaned, picking up Kyouraku's filled sake cup, downing its contents in one go.

/

Next up, Ukitake's chapter! Hope you guys enjoyed this one!


	2. Chapter 2: UkitaketequilaWow

I'd been hoping to get this up sooner, but work got in the way. The only time I hate working retail more than at Christmas, is during back to school. Anyways, it's getting up now. Hopefully I'll have time to update another story today as well. Thanks to something Defiant Vixen said in her review I'm planning another one shot. Oh, and sorry to disappoint, but no, there will be no Kyouraku fangirls in this chapter.

Warnings: FemUkitake, drunk Ukitake, and tequila

Music: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts – Bad Reputation/ I Love Rock N' Roll (I know she wasn't around 2,000 years ago, but work with me.) Don't own the songs, by the way.

Story Time

Chapter 2: Ukitake+tequila=Wow

"This has to be the most boring party ever," Yoruichi complained, laying her head down on the table. "You'd think, with this being graduation and everything, it wouldn't be such a downer."

"You're just upset because they're not serving any liquor," Ukitake said, tucking a long white strand behind her ear.

"Which should be a crime."

"After the last party Kisuke and Shun threw can you blame them?"

"True," Yoruichi sighed, lifting her head. She studied her friend for a moment, giving a little 'hmm' as she did so. Ukitake leaned away from her slightly. She knew that look, and it was never good. "Come on!" Yoruichi stood up suddenly, grabbing Ukitake's arm and dragging her away from the party.

"Where are we going?"

"To get changed."

"Why?"

"We're going to find a real party."

/

"Are you sure about this?" Ukitake asked, pulling at the hem of her skirt. She'd let Yoruichi talk her into many things before, but this one had to take the cake.

"You look amazing. Would you stop worrying?" Yoruichi would only admit it to herself, but she was a little jealous that her clothes looked better on the white haired woman than they did on her. She'd dressed Ukitake in a light blue, short sleeved blouse, leaving the first three buttons undone. She also wore a short black skirt that showed off a generous amount of Ukitake's long legs, but not so much to be scandalous. To finish up the outfit, Yoruichi had leant her five silver bangles which had been placed on her left wrist, a black lace necklace, the silver charm resting against her throat, and black boots.

When Yoruichi opened the door to the bar laughter and music spilled out. The black haired girl looked over her shoulder to see that Ukitake hadn't moved. She gave an exasperated sigh before grabbing the white haired woman's wrist, pulling her inside and toward the bar. The men who were already there moved to make room for them, smiling at them. Ukitake let Yoruichi order her drink, which was to be her biggest mistake of the night.

"What is this?"

"Tequila, it has a kick to it but you'll like it."

Ukitake gave the glass a suspicious look before taking a sip, Yoruichi throwing her's back in one go. "It's not bad," she said, taking another sip. Yoruichi gave her signature cat like smile, ordering another. She handed it to Ukitake who took it less tentatively than she did the last one.

/

Yoruichi blinked, staring as Ukitake jumped up and down. She had just won a game of pool; how she had done so when she was completely drunk on who knows how many shots of tequila she'd never know. The man she had beaten stood next to her, his straw hat hiding his eyes as he talked to the white haired woman.

"_**I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation/You're living in the past it's a new generation."**_

As the song came on Ukitake seemed to perk up, talking excitedly to the man. He threw his head back as he laughed before offering Ukitake his hand. "What are they doing?" Yoruichi muttered. Her eyes widened as the man helped her friend up onto the pool table. "No way."

People cheered as Ukitake stood up fully on the table, the song blasting around the small establishment. Bolstered by the shouts of encouragement Ukitake began to dance, and not in a very modest, Ukitake like, way at all. It took Yoruichi a minute to hear, but she was singing along with the song as well, her light voice not really compatible with the hard beat of the music.

When the song ended Ukitake moved to step off the table until the next song started, the same hard beat pulsing through the bar. The man smiled up at her, saying a few quick words before Ukitake moved to start dancing again. "Okay, that's it," Yoruichi said, pushing her way through the crowd and up to the pool table. "Jūshirō, it's time to go."

Ukitake blinked at the sound of her name, taking a moment to realize Yoruichi was there. "Yoruichi!" she said happily, sitting down and sliding off the table, much to the disappointment of most of the establishment. She threw her arms around Yoruichi, hugging her tightly.

"Jūshirō, you're really drunk. We need to go," Yoruichi said, unwrapping herself from the other girl.

"Go?" Ukitake pouted. "But Sota was going to let me do jello shots off his stomach," she said, indicating the man with the straw hat.

Yoruichi blinked in shock once again before making a silent vow never to let Ukitake drink tequila again. "What about Shunsui?"

Ukitake tilted her head to the side, her long hair falling over her shoulder. "Do you think he'd let me do jello shots off his stomach?"

"_Yes!" "Definitely!" "Hell yeah!" _

"_Ah, it's so wonderful that everyone knows me so well."_

"_Did it just get really hot in here?"_

"_Any more interruptions and I won't continue the story. Good, that's more like it."_

Yoruichi simply grabbed Ukitake's wrist. "Wait, wait!" the white haired woman said, pulling back. "I won our game, Sota owes me."

The man's smile caused Yoruichi to glare at him. At least he knew better than to touch her. "What can I do for you, my white haired angel?"

Ukitake smiled, pointing at him. "Your hat!"

Sota blinked, clearly not expecting that. "My hat?" Ukitake nodded, pulling her other hand out of Yoruichi's grip, holding both out in front of her expectantly. "Very well," he said removing the hat and placing it in her hands.

"Thank you," she said pleasantly, before turning around to head for the door. Yoruichi threw one last glare at the man before following her.

She found Ukitake standing outside looking around confused. "Where are we going now?"

"Home," Yoruichi said firmly, turning her in the right direction. "I can't believe I have to be the responsible one, that's your job, you know," she muttered. "Really, Ukitake, you are so lucky Shunsui's not here. He may love you, but he'd never let you live this down."

"Shun," Ukitake said smiling, practically glowing, clearly not listening to Yoruichi.

"Yes, yes, Shun. Let's get you to him so you can become his problem."

/

"Yoruichi, what're you doing here this late?" Kyouraku asked, yawning.

Yoruichi shook her head, pushing a still smiling Ukitake forward. "Here," she said before disappearing.

"Juu, what..?" was all Kyouraku managed to get out before Ukitake threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Shun!" She kissed his cheek before nuzzling close to him.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Yoruichi took me to a bar!"

Kyouraku sighed, pulling Ukitake inside. "All right, let's get you to bed."

"Oh, here," she said, placing the straw hat she still held on his head. "I won this for you."

Kyouraku paused, looking in a mirror, deciding that the hat suited him. However, in the one moment he'd taken his eyes off her Ukitake had disappeared. "Shit."

He found her in the kitchen, popping a piece of chocolate into her mouth. "Juu, you…" he began, only to be stopped when his lover popped another piece of chocolate inside his mouth. "You're going to be like this all night, aren't you?"

Ukitake tilted her head again. "Maybe, I'm not sure."

Kyouraku sighed before picking a surprised Ukitake bridal style. "Yoruichi is in so much trouble," he muttered to himself, before addressing the woman in his arms, who had wrapped her own arms around his neck. "Have you ever been this drunk before?"

"Nope!"

"Don't be so happy about it. You're going to feel awful in the morning."

/

Never before had Ukitake wanted to kill anything so much as she did the bird that was chirping outside her window. "Shut up, shut up, shut up," she muttered, hiding her head under her pillow.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Kyouraku said happily, smiling as he leaned against the doorframe. He was promptly rewarded with a pillow being thrown at his face. "Have we learnt our lesson?"

"Go away, Shun," Ukitake moaned miserably.

He simply shook his head as he sat down on the bed next to her. "Here, drink this, it'll help."

"I don't want to drink anything."

"My poor Juu," Kyouraku said sympathetically. "I went to Unohana this morning. It'll help get rid of your hangover."

"Will you go away if I do?"

"No."

Ukitake rolled over, glaring at him as she grabbed the glass he held out to her. "Fine." When she finished she fell back on the pillows, already beginning to feel better. "Thank you, Shun," she whispered, smiling up at him before chuckling softly. "Where'd you get that hat?"

"Hmm? You gave it to me."

"When?"

"Last night, after Yoruichi brought you home."

"Oh no," she whispered horrified as last night began coming back to her. "I'm going to kill Yoruichi!"

He raised an eyebrow. "What did happen last night?" Ukitake just moaned, rolling over.

"What happened here?"

"Hey, Kisuke. When'd you get here?" Kyouraku asked, Ukitake letting out another groan that sounded suspiciously like 'go away.'

"Just now. I thought I'd come see how our beautiful Jūshirō was doing after last night's exploits."

"Yoruichi told you what happened? Juu here only moans when I ask her about it."

Urahara shook his head. "No, all she told me was that Jūshirō got very drunk and she was going to kill some guy named Sota."

"Right before I kill her!"

/

"So that's where my hat came from?" Kyouraku muttered, removing his hat to study it.

"You did a table dance?" Ichigo asked, clearly seeing Ukitake in a whole new light.

"Yoruichi, I can't believe you."

"Wait," Hitsugaya said. "If that's how you got your hat, how'd you get your kimono?"

Kyouraku and Yoruichi's faces both fell at that question, while Ukitake seemed to perk up, smirking slightly. "That is one story I would be willing to tell."

"No!" Yoruichi practically shouted. "You wouldn't!"

"Juu, I think we've had enough stories for tonight."

"Surely," Byakyua said perfectly, showing no sign of being effected by all the drinks he'd had, "you wouldn't keep us all wondering?"

"You're just mad cause I told the story about the time you dyed your hair hot pink," Kyouraku muttered.

"Well, it's agreed then, one more story."

"Do we have any tequila?" Yoruichi muttered, earning a slight glare from Ukitake.

/

And that's why you never get Ukitake drunk. Next up is Yoruichi, with a little bit of Kyouraku thrown in for fun.


	3. Chapter 3: Giant Fiery Bouncy Ball

Here's the last chapter! I think it's going to turn out to be half Yoruichi and half Kyouraku, because it's just so fun to get him into trouble.

Story Time

Chapter 3: Giant Fiery Bouncy Ball

"Your problem isn't with the kido itself, it's with your control. You put too much of your reiatsu into it," Ukitake said, as Yoruichi brushed herself off, having been blow back by the force of her kido.

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered.

"You're the one who asked for my help. Now, try it again, Yoruichi. This time limit yourself."

Yoruichi concentrated, whispering the incantation. Unfortunately, her announce got the better of her, making the kido much too powerful. Ukitake blinked, watching as the fire ball got further and further away. "It's like a giant fiery bouncy ball," she murmured.

"Jūshirō, is that heading where I think it is?" Yoruichi asked, her voice almost a desperate squeak.

"I do believe it is," Ukitake said, just as the fire ball bounced over the wall and into the gardens of the First Division before hitting Yamamoto's office.

"What do we do now?"

Ukitake stood, placing both hands on Yoruichi's shoulders. "Run." She didn't have to say it twice, the two disappeared instantly.

"Hey, Jūshirō, I thought I'd keep you company for a while," Kyouraku said cheerfully as he walked into the clearing. He blinked when he saw no one there. "Where'd they go?"

"Shunsui Kyouraku, I should have known."

Kyouraku turned around to see Yamamoto along with half of the First Division glaring down at him. "Stupid Yamamoto summoning powers."

/

"You should tell Yamamoto it was you, Yoruichi. Sensei might throw Kyouraku out of the Academy for this."

Urahara sat back, hands behind his head. "Kyouraku's too gifted for the old man to throw him out. That whole incident with the play proved it."

"I can't believe this," Yoruichi muttered into her pillow. The three were sprawled out around the room she shared with Ukitake.

"Don't worry about it, Yoruichi, everything has been taken care of." The three looked up to see Kyouraku leaning against the doorframe. He pushed himself forward, closing the door behind him before taking a seat next to Ukitake, wrapping his arms around her. "I just have to help rebuild his office, on top of all the cleaning work I still have to do."

"You hate work," Ukitake said as she leaned over, allowing Kyouraku to pull her into his arms.

He sighed dramatically. "Yes, it's really a shame I don't get any time to relax."

"He threatened you with time away from Jūshirō if you didn't actually help, didn't he?" Urahara asked with a knowing smile.

Another dramatic sigh. "Which means I can't slack off."

"Aw, you care about me enough to do your work," Ukitake smirked, tilting her head back for a kiss.

"Of course I do."

Yoruichi let out a relieved sigh, ignoring the make out session that had started between the two. "Thanks, Shunsui."

"Hmm, oh? You shouldn't be thanking me, Yoruichi. You owe be big for this."

"I didn't expect anything less."

/

"What about this, Yoruichi?" Kyouraku asked, pausing to look through the window at the pink kimono on display.

"I should remind you, you just got appointed Captain. You don't have the money for it yet."

"True," Kyouraku said, rubbing his chin lightly. "But you do."

"And why would I buy it for you?"

"Yamamoto's office."

"You're calling that in for this?"

"It's for Juu, so only the best will do. Come on," he said, dragging her into the store.

"I can just give you the money, I don't need to go in with you."

"Besides Juu having a slightly smaller chest you two have the same figure. I want to see how it looks before buying it."

"We are so even after this," she muttered as the sales lady walked over.

"Can I help you two?" she asked pleasantly.

"Yes," Kyouraku said happily. "My friend here was interested in that pink kimono you have in your window."

"You do realize I'm not a doll, right?"

"But you're as cute as one."

/

"Shun, this is beautiful. How'd you afford it?" Ukitake asked as Kyouraku presented her with the kimono.

He simply smiled, kissing her softly. "I always find a way to get the best for my Juu. Try it on."

"All right," Ukitake said as she took the garment, heading to the bathroom to change.

"Hmm, you're not going to change here?" Kyouraku asked disappointed.

"If I try it on in here we'll never see what it looks like on me," she said before shutting the door behind her.

Kyouraku sat on her bed, glaring at the door as he waited impatiently. After what seemed like an eternity to him the door finally opened. He knew she'd look amazing but when she entered the room his breath was taken away. "Beautiful," he whispered, standing up to kiss his lover.

"You'd say I look beautiful in anything."

"That's because you do, Juu," Kyouraku said playfully. "And now that I've seen you in it, I can't wait to get it off you."

"Shunsui!" Ukitake shouted, half laughing as the man picked her up before dropping her on the bed. "Honestly, you're like a child."

"Oh really?" Kyouraku whispered against her lips. "I know a way to prove you wrong."

/

Kyouraku was woken up by Ukitake shaking his shoulder. "Wha-?" he questioned sleepily.

"Get up, Sensei's coming," Ukitake whispered. That's all Kyouraku needed to hear before jumping out of the bed, grabbing the nearest piece of clothing and wrapping himself in it.

"Shunsui, I thought I'd find you here," Yamamoto muttered as he opened the door.

"Captain-Commander, what a pleasant surprise," Kyouraku said, placing his hat on his head.

"That certainly is an unusual outfit choice for you." Kyouraku looked down to see that he had clothed himself in Ukitake's pink kimono. "Comfortable, is it?"

"The most wonderful outfit I've ever worn," Kyouraku said without pausing. "I might just wear it every day for the rest of my life."

Ukitake meanwhile had buried her face in her pillow to muffle her laughter, until her laughter turned into coughing. "Juu?" Kyouraku asked worriedly, turning her over and helping her sit up. Ukitake covered her mouth, but blood dripping through her fingers. "Shit, Juu," Kyouraku muttered as he picked her up, rushing passed Yamamoto.

He flashed stepped to the Fourth Division Headquarters. Unohana had sensed him coming and meet him when he arrived, showing him to a room where he could set her down. Unohana shoved him out of the room, making sure he wouldn't get in her way.

Isane meet him in the hallway, a blush crossing her cheeks. "Captain Kyouraku, um, if you don't mind, can you..?" she said, holding out a piece of cloth to him.

Kyouraku raised an eyebrow before looking down to see that he hadn't tied the kimono, and had literally just shown the entire Forth Division his lower half. "You like what you see, Lieutenant?" he teased, even as he took the cloth from her, using it as a belt.

This earned him a smack on the back of the head from Yamamoto who had followed him. "Stop teasing her."

Kyouraku merely glanced at him. He was too worried about Ukitake to make his usual smart remark.

/

"You ran across the Seireitei half-naked?" Ukitake asked, shaking her head.

"Only for you, Juu."

Yoruichi chuckled softly from her place next to Yamamoto. "I have to say, Jūshirō, I'm a little envious." This caused Ukitake to sigh and Kyouraku to practically glow with pride.

"Must you feed his ego, Yoruichi?"

Yoruichi just flashed Ukitake her catlike grin. "So, I hear you're going to wear that kimono every day for the rest of your life, even though you got it for Jūshirō. Seems a little selfish."

Kyouraku glared at her as Yamamoto glared at him. Of course, the Captain-Commander knew Kyouraku hadn't gotten the kimono for himself, but knowing and hearing were two different things. "Well, it's also selfish to let your friend take the fall for burning the old man's office."

"Sell out!" Yoruichi said, jumping up as she pointed an accusing finger at the man.

"You're one to talk," he growled back, trying to step away from his Sensei who was currently making the room rather hot.

"Excuse me, but if you can't be civil to one another I'll have to ask you to leave," Unohana said as she entered the room. Everyone froze, nodding slightly.

"That woman can be rather scary," Kyouraku muttered, everyone else nodding in agreement.

/

"So that's how you get him to do work?" Nanao muttered to herself as the rest of the table cracked up at the image of Kyouraku running through the Seireitei.

"Argh, Jūshirō, you really had to talk about the office?" Yoruichi murmured, throwing back a shot of tequila.

"I told you if you ever told the tequila story, I would tell the fire ball story," Ukitake said simply, having returned to sipping her tea.

"Well," Unohana said as she set down her empty tea cup, "since it seems we've lost some people, we should probably end this." Those still conscious looked around to see that Soifon, Ikkaku, Hisagi, and Byakuya had all passed out.

Everyone slowly stood, joking over the stories they had heard that night, some picking up their fallen comrades. Ichigo and Renji, who had picked up Byakuya, ended up dropping the poor man when they started laughing again, having heard Kyouraku's comment to Ukitake as the two left.

"You know, Juu, I could make some jello shots when we get home."

"And do you know, Shun, that you're sleeping at your place tonight?"

/

I'm not really sure I like how well this last chapter came out, but let me know what you think. If it's completely awful I'll try rewriting it sometime soon.


End file.
